"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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