My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
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I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
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His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm determined to sit on that face.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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