His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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