i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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