so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
