So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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