I am puke
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
