maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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