it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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