he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
