I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
