Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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