I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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