how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
