I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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