chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
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