Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
