I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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