you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
