she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
