One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
