I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
