what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
