Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
