Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize