yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
