i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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