i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
