Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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