i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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