I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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