Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
