My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
