happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
