I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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