It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
