It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
don't judge my taste in strippers
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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