I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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