Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
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Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
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Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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