he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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