"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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