Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just forgot I was standing up.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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