ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize