My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
