Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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