reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
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