you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.