her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.