But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
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Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street