i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk