I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.