remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
