you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
