Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
