Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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