Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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