we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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