I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
In other news, I just burned my penis
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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