God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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