Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
