I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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