I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize