Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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