i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
