You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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