i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
