Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
