Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
